Thursday, February 16, 2012

11 years ago...

Ok   so I know that promised the blog Iwas going to do yesterday today but I decided I will wait and do that blog tomorrow. Honestly mainly because I am lazy and have to download picture/find pictures etc. Also today is February 15th.

On this day 11 years ago at around 9/10 o'clock in the evening my worst nightmares began. And I actually thought it was a nightmare and not real life. I have never in my life been so numb or so in shock as I was that night. It literally became the worst day of my life, nothing will ever compare, or rather I pray it doesn't. I guess I should start at the top.

February 15, 2001 started off like any other day. I was at my moms, most likely woke up to an alarm that was set way too early for my sister, Stacey, to get ready for her day. I also most likely threw something at her to wake her up because while she did set her alarm it never did seem to wake her. It would only wake me and I would just start throwing things at her until she turned off the alarm. That was her morning wake up. I then eventually got up and ready for high school. And off to school we went. It was like an other school day, long and boring. After school I am sure I attempted to do homework. The whole family made it out to Brien's basketball game. Brien got to play a little in this game. But when he wasn't playing he was cheering louder and harder then even Stacey the cheerleader. The day was overall pretty ordinary. Nothing of note really had happened up to that point.Sometime around 4 or 5 I talked to Katie Nelson on the phone. She ask if I could make it to a basketball game at Ontario High. I don't remember however if I ask to go or not. I do remember telling her I would call her back. I never did get the chance. I think at some point I got in trouble with the folks. When this happen as a moody sulking teen I tended to head straight to bed. It had to have been after dinner sometime. I slept for the last time peacefully, until Stacey came to wake me up around 9 or 10. I thought I was in trouble again and reluctantly went to see my mom who was sitting in our big blue chair head in her hands, crying and simply said "Brien was in a car accident". And with those simple 6 words my world was shattered, broken and would never be the same. Quietly we load ourselves in the car and drove to the chino hospital. The entire way I sat in the back seat of the van and prayed. "Please let me just see Brien again." I repeated those words so many  times I lost count. My mom and stepdad, Alan, got out of the car and quickly returned. We drove in silence to the crash site of walnut and euclid. The entire time saying my prayer. This part I remember vividly, two mangled cars, an ambulance, and two blue tarps. My family got out of the car but I stayed in. I couldnt move, I couldnt think. In my head I was screaming and running towards those blue tarps. In reality I was sitting in the back seat my forehead pressed against the cold glass window. The rest of the night was a blur. I dont remember who told me that Brien, Katie, and Curtis were all dead. Who told me Mama Katy and Joe (Katie's parents) were in the hospital. I do remember going to my dads where the house was full of people but the little kids (Katie, Kake and Kurt) all asleep still. I for a good while thought to myself "why are they just letting Kurt sleep, should he know his brother is gone. His best friend isnt coming back." I finally made the hardest choice of my life, I went to Brien and Kurt's room and watched Kurt sleep peacefully for a while. Sat on his bed, stroked his hair and then gently woke him up. Mentally I was preparing for those words, I dreaded it. Kurt sat up, looked strangely at me. And I calmly said "Kurt, Brien was in a car accident, he didnt make it. Katie and Curtis are gone too." Kurt's big eyes looked at me and filled with tears. My little 12 year old brother crawled in my lap wraps his arms around my neck and cried. I rocked him and let the tears just fall. It was the first time I cried that night. I dont know how long I held onto Kurt. While this moment defined the worst moment in my life, it was a special bonding time between Kurt and I.
The next things I remember of this night was calling my two best friends, Amy and Kristin. And I walked with the neighborhood kids, Kyle(my oldest brother), Daniel(Katie's Brother), Casey(Curtis' Brother) and the Damico boys, Mike and Matt. We walked for hours and hours and hours. Aimlessly just walked. Mike and I ended up walking all night. Hardly any words were spoken. Words didnt need to be spoken. All of us teens were devastated,heartbroken and scared. We probably didnt have words, the oldest of us was maybe 19, no body could have prepared us for that being so young. Are lives were forever changed.

No comments:

Post a Comment