A Christmas Poem

I wrote this poem in december of 2009. I still feel this way. Christmas is still very hard time for me. But I do love Christmas it just isnt the same with an empty seat at the table. I still miss Brien every still damn day. The holidays are no different. In fact I prolly think about him more when people go about shopping and singing and having Christmas joy. I am by no means a grinch, like I said I love Christmas. Its a magical time of year. To me it would just be a whole lot more magical with Brien here.

Christmas without you
------------------------
Christmas isnt really christmas
without you, I am standing
here looking around at all the
tinkling lights and there is no lights
that will ever shine as bright as your eyes
its been years and years and years
and still christmas isnt
the same with out you. I am at
a lost. looking around the mall
and still want to find you that
perfect present that perfect toy
yet i dont even have you to give
it to. all the joy that surrounds
me is all void without you
i am a reall big grinch this
time of year. i cant seem to
get into the spirit without you
you made my day everyday
christmas just isnt the same
without you. your laughter isnt
here to fill a room,
you care free attitude now
lies 6 feet below the ground.
how do i do christmas without you?
it doest get easier as time goes bye,
all those people lied,.
it only get harder, time doesnt
heal just mask the pain.
every year is the hardest one so far.
the farther away i get for you the
more i want to rewind time
to catch a glispe of you
at christmas time.
listin to you sing the carols,
watch you decorate the tree.
get messy with you as we bake
all those sugar cookies.
will christmas ever be the same
without you?